Clannies: Beer, boats and bros

13:08 Unknown 0 Comments

Clanwillian dam view from house
View from the porch
I must start off by apologising, this little trip happened a couple of weeks ago and very simply I have been too lazy to put it up. My consistency with regularly posting has been on a par with politicians keeping campaign promises or pedophiles not becoming repeat offenders. If that flew right over your head and you think 1 + 1 = 11 then what I'm saying is I have not been very good at it, also you are no longer allowed to read this blog. If however we are on the same page, so to speak, then by all means read on.

Beer, charcoal and tequila
The essential supplies


A few weeks back a small group of guys hopped in a bakkie (truck) gathered our supplies, put some heavy dubstep on the radio and with the resident Bergie (hobo) of previous stories at the wheel we headed off on the 3 and half hour drive to Clannies, otherwise known as the Clanwilliam dam.








truck; bakkie
Bergie at the wheel






The nice thing about the dam is although it's a little bit of a drive up there it is one of the more sizable bodies of fresh water near to Cape Town and the entire town is equipped to store and service boats and to cater for weekend or holiday goers to visit the dam, so it really is a no mess no fuss option. You leave your boat up there, it gets regularly serviced and you just pitch up, hook it up to the car and drop it in the water. If you don't have a boat then I am certain that there are some to rent but the best idea  is to be lucky enough to know someone with one. Something I have been fortunate enough to experience more than once in my life.

Swartland road landscape
Swartland road


The other massive plus on the drive up is that you are surrounded by the Swartberg mountains and the agricultural areas that lie beneath them. They generally reward you with some great vistas and stunning light shows as the sunset moves through its many phases. In truth if we had left when we planned to we would have enjoyed the sunset from the comfort of our porch with the fire going and the smell of kilograms of meet on the braai.


Swartland sunset
Swartland sunset





However due to some masterclasses in faffing we viewed it along the open road from the back window of the bakkie. Although it's hard to nitpick at where you see it when it looks like this. We eventually arrived in the early evening a little after dark and after we had stocked up on some more essentials from the local garage convenience store, which apparently entailed about 20 boxes of various flavors of rooibos tea along with about 40 sticks of droewors (kind of like jerky if jerky tasted AMAZING), we headed off to our accommodation. 

Centipede, Shongololo
Saving creatures


Our house was actually a little outside the back of the town, about a 15 minute drive along a dirt road which was great for two reasons. We were a little away from the main concentration of boat traffic with our own slipway so we had no need to go back in to town other than the occasional bolstering of supplies and secondly it gave the bergie the opportunity to save a life. Granted that is was only a shongololo (centipede) but every little creature counts in terms of good karma which had to be boosted by the sheer skill it took to see it crawling in the road at night.

So the evening ended with some meat on the fire, a good few beers and a drinking game that involved sitting in a circle, clucking like a chicken and strange hand gestures to indicate direction, skipping people and change of direction. Seemed simple enough but add in consideration for the number of beers that had already been consumed and the tequila penalty shots and even Einstein would have battled with its complexity. As a result our honorable intentions to make a salad were quickly set aside and additional meat was added as a substitute making it the perfect traditional South African braai of boerwors, lamp chops, keebabs and beer. And so ends the first day. All the action is yet to come. In truth this was just a teaser as there is in fact a video in editing, with the famous Moses, of the whole event which tells a far better story than I can put in to words. Just a side note on Moses who as the owner of the boat, despite destroying the tendons in his ankle in a drunken skate boarding accident just a week before, was such a trooper he went through with the weekend even though he couldn't partake in anything more than being the designated boat driver the whole weekend.

Here are a couple of the action shots from the weekend, just as a little precursor of what is to come in the video which will hopefully becoming to a computer screen near you soon. peace.
cliff jumpingcliff jumpingcliff jumpingcliff jumping


cliff jumpingcliff jumping


slalom skiing

slalom skiiing

Bergie

wake boarding

jumping wake, wake boarding

Jumping wake, wake boarding


moses


wake skate, tube

wake skate, tube, beer


wake skate, tube, beer

bergie, beer


slalom skiing, glass

clanwilliam vineyards

Clanwilliam dam view

slalom skiing



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Time to hit the bars for the Cape Town summer

14:38 Unknown 0 Comments


Ok so I'm afraid I have tricked you. I lured you in with the prospect of some kind of Bar guide for Cape Town this summer with the leading title and the pretty cocktail picture but it was all a clever rouse. What I actually want to show you is the other side of summer, the one that we all hate to confront but we know we will have to at some point. There are few things less attractive than being that fat old weathered looking person sipping cocktails at or near the beach. It really takes the romance out of it.

So what's the solution? well you have to hit the gym! *puke* After 16 years of lifting some or other weight in a gym I personally just can't stomach the thought of being cramped up inside a stuffy building, with the smell of steroids, sweat and testosterone hanging like a thick mist on the weights floor, when it's a beautiful day outside. But I think I have found the answer. Something you can do almost anywhere, out in the open, in the sunlight and fresh air! I've always heard about calisthenics but until now I haven't really looked in to it and certainly not the way the guys in the video you're about to see do it. But after not lifting a weight for 3 months I will swear by it now! This is a short story on the evolution of 2 guys over a year putting these principles in to practice, try ignore all the american hoopla, chest pumping and general use of cheesy slogans and look to what they actually do and achieve!


Ok so I did warn you about the cheese factor but it's pretty impressive stuff. Trickiest thing I have found in Cape Town is to find place to do the bar work. There's a spot on the Sea Point promenade and another in the Green Point park next to the stadium that kind of work but they're not perfect. It would be great if Cape Town City Council and Parks popped a few of these places up around Cape Town especially in the poorer areas. It's such an accessible way to stay in shape and gives people something to do other than getting in to trouble. Plus the installation looks really low cost and robust! Hopefully we see more of these in the near future. Until then I'll catch you on the prom getting some sun and shape! *Bar Brothers for Life* ;)

p.s for those of you who are big readers, here is a little more info on calisthenics.

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As long as heros stand up

20:15 Unknown 0 Comments

I ran across a video today of some South African lunatic, called Chris Bertish, who happens to have won the Mavericks 2010 surf contest and now want's to cross the Atlantic Ocean on a SUP (stand up paddle board) and I must say it filled me with a certain sense of pride to be from the same little country as maniacs like him.



We are obviously a complex land with many cultures and great socio economic divides, not to mention a sordid past that still lingers in the new South Africa and with us technically being a 3rd world nation a lot of the time things don't work perfectly. There are service delivery issues, tragedies like the Marikana mine massacre and our economy might not be growing like it could be if the ANC government would stop stealing from and start investing in the country. This all tends to cast a bad light on us in the eyes of the world as was clearly illustrated by the recent Economist article.

But they don't know us, only we know us and that picture they paint is missing something big about who we are. That undefinable thing that gives saffers that adventurous spirit and strength of character that when we are faced with adversity, in the darkest hour, we will rise to meet the challenge head on.

So here's a short list of things to be proud of off the top of my head. We have world famous, beloved and revered leaders and icons such as Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. We have won two Rugby World Cups despite not ever being the favorites. We have successfully hosted the Rugby and Soccer World Cups. We have the top tourist city in the world in Cape Town. We have inspirational athletes like Natalie du Toit and Oscar Pistorius who are practically the faces of the paralympics and if that isn't overcoming adversity and showing spirit I don't know what is. Our golfers have a sneaky habit of winning majors despite our relatively small talent pool and opportunities compared to the first world countries.

Not enough? Well let's start moving up the crazy scale and look at our extreme athletes like Ryan Sandes who just decided to run a marathon one day, quite enjoyed it, and thought ok I'm going to run through deserts now and teach the world of ultra-endurance running a lesson, and then he did. Or there are slightly more off centre but truly inspirational characters such as Lewis Pugh, the human polar bear who swims massive distances in icy oceans to raise environmental awareness on the importance of the oceans and the damage they are suffering. And  along a similar line there are adventurers like Riaan Manser who besides cycling around Africa and paddling around Madagascar is now paddling around Iceland with Dan Skinstad who just happens to have cerebral palsy, just another day and another Saffer overcoming a challenge.

That was literally just who I could think of at this exact moment, I have undoubtedly left so many people out that deserve a mention. People that dedicate their whole lives to feeding starving families in the townships, or running AIDS orphanages or homeless shelters. Those are all the unsung heros that inspire me even more than the famous ones mentioned above. And its those people that give me hope that when the world loses faith in us and even when we lose faith in ourselves and people feel the need to jump ship, we can always look to those heros and know as long as they exist there is a lot we still have to offer as a country. As long as we understand that our success does not rest in the hands of the politicians, it's up to each individual in this country to inspire and help our fellow South Africans everyday to do the same.

So now back to the latest hero who inspired this little article. It appears from the video that Chris Bertish is still trying to raise enough backing to make his dream a reality and we all know how this works, the more views the YouTube video gets the more interest he will get from sponsors. So if you have been a too busy to be a hero this week at least help someone else become one. And remember that's share the video not this article, I'm not going to say no if you want to share the article but the goal is to get the views ticking up on the video. Now go forth and overcome!


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Do what you love

11:45 Unknown 0 Comments


I ran in to a video a few months ago and I just feel it's really apt for the changes I am busy making in my life.  Whether it's because it's saying what we all want to hear or it actually makes sense is not definitive but it does seem to really speak to the soul.

Although the world has changed and continues to change rapidly I still see far too many people drawn in by the antiquated social norms of past generations i.e. get a stable job, get married before 30, have kids by 30, die, etc. It's certainly possible that these people are doing what they love or believe they are but will they still see things the same way in 10 or 20 years time?

It truly seems a forgone notion to believe that you should work and make sacrifices in the present so that one day you may buy the freedom that's available to you now. That doesn't mean not working it just means allowing yourself to take the necessary risks now to find your way so you can find a true passion that will sustain you for the rest of your life or at least lead you down a path of multiple such opportunities.

This video really speaks to the heart of that thinking and the role of the youth in reshaping the status quo and continuing to do so ad infinitum. But I'll let the video do the speaking, if you have 10 min of your life to spare it's well worth it, enjoy.




And if for some reason that didn't motivate you then maybe having this passionate/angry guy shout at you for a bit will help.

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Just a little boating

18:55 Unknown 0 Comments

Life's not too bad when you can spend a day chilling on a yacht in Granger Bay and call it work, the views didn't suck either. Got to take those opportunities.

V & A Waterfront View
The upper deck
The way to shore


  













Just going out for a little midweek cruise, and it's amazing how deceiving photos are. The view was great, the yacht was cool but it was actually freaking freezing and pretty boring being stuck out there working instead of having fun and just killing time waiting for it to end. I suppose that's like any work though, and there are certainly worse offices than this. I even think this may trump the fabled corner office?
The boat

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Trampling daisies, the post match awards.

14:23 Unknown 0 Comments

Daisies Sunset
So the sun has set on another Daisies and I can say that it was running at the fullest, most manic level of epicness possible. It was everything I have come to love and expect. It just has such a sense of community and so little ego, everyone just has fun and gets along, it's all about the love. It's such a pity that on the drive back to Cape Town everyone seems to find their ego again. But I digress, that's just some post Daisies come down grumpiness talking. I'll love everyone again tomorrow.

Now back to the topic at hand, I'm trying to write this today (being Monday at this point) while the already blurry memories are still at their freshest. I can say that it was festival of great new experiences and cool new people but with all that happened I have been struggling to decide how to break it down in manner respectful to the complexity of the occasion. That lasted about 5 minutes and I realised I don't have it in me to write something poetic and beautiful so I am just going to cheapen the experience by breaking it down in to a form of awards ceremony for stand out performances, both good and bad. All names have been changed to the legendary status they deserve and so that people can continue their normal lives without fear of prosecution or persecution.

The biggest winner - This actually starts a little before the festival when Sergio offered Thor a spare ticket he had but then due to a lack of clarity on the acceptance of sed offer and unbeknownst to Thor he sold the ticket. Now due to years of playful banter even on the morning of Daisies when Sergio told Thor he had sold the ticket it was dismissed as a joke. So let's fast forward to the entrance gate and there is Thor without a ticket, but being a god on earth he doesn't trouble himself with trivial things like mortal rules such as needing tickets to enter events and proceeds to just walk right in untouched and unquestioned. He then returned the next day to claim his armband and as no one would dare deny a god they gladly offered it up. There is nothing like getting a free ticket based on nothing but absolute confidence in your right of entitlement to it.

The funniest moment - To provide a backdrop it had been a massive Friday night for our fearless leader Moses, mentioned in an earlier book of daisies, and being the last person up he was suitably punished by having tequila poured down his throat before opening his eyes followed closely by being dragged from the tent by his feet. So now that he was up, he was off and leading us again up one of the many informal campsite paths while trying to touch peoples silhouettes through the tents. There was no doubt at this point that something dramatic would happen soon, and then he saw them. There were two lovely ladies walking down the path carrying a skottel (gas cooker) lid between them, laden with various pots and pans that were freshly washed after 30 min walk to the dam and back. And he was off, running up the path and as he neared them he launched in to the air, it was at this point I thought to myself "too soon!" and so it appeared to be as he landed with both feet squarely in the middle of the skottel ripping it from their hands and sending everything else flying in to the dirt. What we didn't realise is that during his run the towel on his shoulder had blown up in to his face, but being a man of faith he never had any doubt that he could still clear it blind. So there he now was, standing in the middle of the skottel lid. There is not much one can say at this point but he tried to make a mends by sheepishly picking up the carnage and trying to formulate some sort of apology. We will never know exactly what was said for, as his trusty disciples, we lay strewn some distance back along the path crippled by tears of laughter.

The angriest/drunkest person - This has to go to our resident american who will henceforth be known as the congressman, the reason for which will become apparent shortly. Now while the congressman miraculously managed to stay at a level of drunkenness perilously close to breaking point the entire weekend without ever breaking, it was only at about 6.30 am on Sunday morning that he really found his best form. I was just returning from the electro tent, for which I will give myself an honorable mention for only leaving once the music stopped, and on arrival back I found some dedicated souls still sitting beneath the bedouin tent hanging on to the last threads of consciousness  Among them was the congressman who shortly after I joined them stood up and asked in the politest manner possible whether he could make a political statement. Being a generous lot we gave him the floor, it was at this juncture that he picked up a chair. My initial thought was that he was looking to use it as his soap box but it was as he smashed it into the ground that I realised I had been sorely mistaken. He then proceeded to attack all other free chairs, the majority of which he tried to direct towards Moses' tent but I feel due to delayed release issues he hit every tent but that one. The reason for this political statement is still unknown but as with any great political statement it included a lot of passion but made very little sense.

The most disturbing/educational statement- When the man known simply as "The legend" informed us that during the 90's it was considered perfectly acceptable to take E as a suppository. While clearly an enlightening bit of trivia the thought of this still keeps me up at night.

The most annoying thing - the queues, there was a queue for everything and most of the time they were not small. Daisies seems to be a victim of its own success with the numbers appearing to be substantially more than any previous years. Hopefully they learn from it and bump up all the facilities next year else it could threaten to detract from the amazingness that is Daisies.

The biggest resident hobo - First a little on the hobbit, known by this name due to hairy feet being his sole choice of footwear throughout the festival. He's always known to be a free spirit at these events. Things like having a tent or any real plan are not seen as priorities. He is truly the king of winging it. Now to set the scene, I wake in the morning in my tent to the sound of some heavy manly breathing behind my back. Despite my clearly drunken state when going to bed I was pretty certain that I had gone to bed alone. While I was building up the courage to turn around and identify the noise I noticed my clothing bag was covered by some filthy rug and straw was strewn over my entire tent. I then, as quietly as possible, sat up fully prepared to have to engage in some close combat with a perfect stranger and was overwhelmingly relieved to see the hobbit lying there still fully suited in his clothes from the night before. Apparently he had been found lying under the bedouin tent in the early hours of the morning, with nothing but that dirty rug for protection from the elements, slowly freezing to death and had been ushered in to my tent by some kind souls. And once again despite himself he had survived one more year.

So those are the most memorable aspects of this years Daisies. The "most memorable" can also easily be substituted with the "only remembered" as considering we had about 9 bottles of tequila and 100 litres of draft beer to share between 20 people at our campsite alone, it was not the most sober of occasions but as with every daisies it just gets better and better every year we return. Now we start the count down to next year. Time can't go by fast enough.





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Daisies, Daisies... all for the love of you....lalalala

17:42 Unknown 0 Comments

It is normally round about this time of the year, every year, that I find myself wondering around, half-naked, dazed and confused, in the early morning hours, in a field of daisies with no clear direction, no memory of how I got there and a strange sense of euphoria.



While you may be thinking UFO abduction, and granted I'll give you there are many similarities, with all but the customary alien probing being common to both, what I am actually referring to is a certain little music festival near Darling that has a something to do with Rock and a lot to do with Daisies.

Yes, it is indeed Rocking the Daisies which for me has historically been a guaranteed massive weekend at which I believe, judging purely on third party accounts I have a life changing good time. And to think until Monday I was debating not going, I hang my head in shame at the thought. So to avoid having the FOMO attack of the year I gave myself two swift blows to the side of the head, pulled myself nearer to myself and got my hands on a ticket. With all the inflation in ticket prices I had to spend a few more nights on main road than I had initially anticipated to raise the funds but if I can walk normally by Friday it will all have been worth it. I just realised this story is now just like an alien abduction, probing included.

But wait there's more. Although all Daisies are good they are not all created equal, some are really good. My best one thus far has been when some inspired souls saw it fit to arrange an entire bedouin tent along with draft beer on tap and a few cases of tequila to round it off. And this year one man has taken it on himself to repeat this tradition, we will call him Moses to protect his identity and for the obvious parallels of leading people to the promised land. I have been assured that all the above boxes have been ticked along with the addition of some strange hybrid of a funnel and a women, you can use your imagination as to how that will work. Not a real women, don't be stupid. This ones too much fun to be real!

Thought I'd include this map, it's more for my own reference than yours because now it's on my phone but hey bonus for you.

Rocking the Daisies Map

Ok, that's all for now, this was only supposed to be the briefest of ticklers and I've landed up going most of the way through foreplay so I'm going to stop it here, the real content after all will be coming out of this weekend. If you've booked your ticket I'll stumble in to you there, if not "I pity the fool".

Bull.


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When super foods become kryptonite

12:58 Unknown 0 Comments


For many years now I have taken some interest in trying to put good stuff into my body during the day mainly to ease the guilt of all the alcohol I was putting in it at night. As a result I am always interested in new "super" foods from some far off land with mythical nutritional powers that can replace half of your dietary needs with a single scoop. My latest discovery was a little seed from the Andes known as Quinoa (Keen-Wah). But more about that later in the story.


It all started at about 2am on Monday morning, when I woke up to find myself in what seemed like an arctic winter. I then spent about 20min in that state where you are uncomfortable but not enough to cause you to leave your bed, often experienced when you wake up needing to pee but you'd rather suffer and snooze than get up and do something about it. However by this point I was shivering so violently that I had managed to injure my shoulder so I decided to take some decisive action before I suffered any further injuries and ran around collecting any blanket, towel or dishcloth I could get my hands on and piled back into my bed under a few tons of fabric. Even lying under half of china's yearly blanket production it took me another hour to become warm enough to reduce the shivering from a spastic fit like level down to a mild buzz so I could fall asleep.

The next day when I recanted my experience to friends of the coldest night in Cape Town ever, I found very few could relate. In fact most people told me they had found it to be quite a warm evening. Despite these glaring anomalies in my data I wrote it off to having tiled floors in my room as I had no reason to assume there was anything else afoot as other than a sore shoulder I was feeling no ill effects from the night before.

Jump forward three days and shortly after lunch I realized that something familiar was happening. It was a beautiful sunny day, I was sitting outside soaking up the rays and yet I was shivering like a runway model in the frozen foods section. It was at this point that I realised something was wrong so, preparing for the artic tundra that I knew was rolling in, I suited up in my finest winter wares including an industrial strength hooded jersey and thermal socks and took myself to bed. Ok wait that's not entirely true, I first googled the symptoms for as long as I could muster which was just long enough to get a short list including a massive thyroid malfunction. So now as I lay in bed with things getting appreciably worse, I can really only describe it as catching death, with symptoms such as uncontrollable shaking, a headache straight from the end of Thors hammer, breathing like I'm free-climbing the east face of Everest, Houdini stomach cramps and a general body pain like I had completed a heavy weight MMA fight. All this time I was running through the number of possible Google verified conditions wondering if I can tough this one out or if it was one where I am more likely to die unassisted and should probably go to hospital.

At this point my sister came home. She asked what was wrong, I said I was dying, she said "Ok, I'm going for coffee, see you later". It's always nice to know that during your hour of need you can always count on your family.......to treat you like they always do. Sometime after this I passed out, I think at around 3pm. My sister returned at 5pm, saw me now still in a borderline vegetative state peering out of swollen puffs of skin where my eyelids used to be and kindly diagnosed me as suffering an allergic food reaction with anaphylactic shock symptoms, which she said was very dangerous and that I should have said something as I probably should have gone to hospital, to which I responded "I said I was dying", to which she responded "I thought you were talking shit as always". Fair enough, she has a point. At least with the new diagnosis and all the semi lucid thinking time I had on my hands I started slotting things in to place and thinking back two hours from both of my reactions there was one common factor, I had eaten something with Quinoa. Upon reaching this realisation I passed out, only to wake briefly to eat something for dinner, I have no memory of what it was.

You may be asking how are you eating when you have just had an allergic reaction to food but here's the weird thing, allergies have found some sort of sneaky loophole through the bodies defenses. Unlike with food poisoning where you are guaranteed to evacuate the toxin while looking like a human revolving door in front of the toilet bowl for a few hours, allergens don't necessarily leave, in fact they prefer to stay put and play havoc with your incidental organs such as the heart, the lungs and the central nervous system. Needless to say my last day or two have been a struggle at best and I am really only feeling my chipper self today again with just a massive sinus problem as a reminder of the ordeal.

The moral of the story children is that one man's super food is another man's kryptonite. So let my suffering serve as a cautionary tale and don't make the same mistakes. On a serious note and to add the hint of usefulness to this article I have been eating Quinoa on and off for a year or so and never had a problem until now. All the anecdotal evidence I found suggested the same thing, that it builds up over time but once you show the slightest allergic reaction it becomes exponentially worse each time you consume it. While Quinoa has been considered a low risk allergen until now its usage has also been fairly untested in the western world as its sales are not quite on a par with white bread for example but with its popularity growing I am sure more cases like mine and the others I read about will be found and that classification will change. Speaking of white bread I think I may be introducing it back in to my diet to replace quinoa, I know its crap but rather the devil you know than the devil you don't, right?


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Animal Anarchy.....why must it be this way?

16:30 Unknown 0 Comments

While I normally have nothing but love for my animals its days like these when I look at them and think "if you don't start behaving I'm renaming you three; starter, mains and dessert!".

The Usual Suspects:                                  
 Mo (Dusty)
Larry (Loopy)      
Curly (Coco)      
Today was that dreaded VET trip when the mere introduction of a car into the daily routine seems to take the normal placid demeanor of the animals and transform it in to a frenzy of panting, tangled leads, whining and the strange need to simulate a furry pinball on the back seat of the car, and this is just on the way to the vet.

But fear not Curly (Coco) had saved the best for arrival. After checking in and taking a seat in the waiting room everyone simmered down to a mild panic but then I noticed Coco assuming an all to familiar position. At first I dismissed the notion as impossible but soon enough the reality became all too clear, she had decided that the waiting room was the ideal environment to allow her gastrointestinal system to express itself. I have a slightly differing opinion on her choice of timing when you now have three crazed animals on their leads, an older gentleman with a perfectly behaved dog giving you the evil eye and a steaming little present in front of you. I'm pretty sure that this would be the perfect setting for one of those hopeless nightmares when you trying so hard to run but your legs cant move.

Thank God the Vets timing was superb and the surgery door opened at the perfect time for me to escort the dogs in to the surgery, remedy the "situation" and catch up with entourage inside the room where the aforementioned pinball behavior had resumed. You would think at this stage of their lives that would have realised that walls generally are fairly fixed structures, unlikely to give way to some scratching, bumping and licking but as was the underlying theme of the trip, all reason falls away in face of blind panic. Its amazing how difficult a 4kg dog is to control when it believes it is fighting for its life but we all managed to survive the inoculations with only some minor scrapes and bruises, which were all suffered by myself and the Vet.

I'm not sure exactly where I was going with this tale other than looking for sympathy and oh yes that I believe this is all Apple's fault. They have the power to make anything they like but they choose to make indistinguishably different models of i-phones, i-pads and i-freakin everything instead of using their resources for the greater good of pet owners everywhere by making that dog collar from the movie UP so that dogs and owners can have honest two way conversations to alleviate the panic that ensues when you are unable to  adequately explain a situation to your furry friend. The i-speak dog collar could change the world forever but alas I believe my pleas may fall on deaf ears and instead Apple will spend their resources to make a half i-pad, half i-phone hybrid that nobody really knows what to do with but they all will buy because it looks so damn pretty when you lay them all out next to each other and upload the picture to Instagram.


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